Introducing: Sacramento Body Positivity Collective (SacBoPoCo)

Something has been bubbling inside of me for a long time and I honestly don't know why it's taken me so long to act on it.  They say to "be who you needed as a child."  While I try to integrate that into my everyday life, I feel like I wasn't doing enough.  That changes today.

I'm launching a new project called Sacramento Body Positivity Collective (SacBoPoCo.)   The goal is to create a community that celebrates ALL BODIES.  Inspiration will be for everyone, worldwide, but I hope to have meet ups locally in Sacramento.  I want to create a safe space where people can talk about their body, their insecurities, and also share their wins.

My Why

Being a blogger and being someone in the media puts me in a lot of different places literally.  I go to events and I hope to find another bigger person to relate to.  I look on social media for camaraderie and it feels like all I see are "the beautiful people."  (Yes, I know that all people are beautiful in their own way but mind meld with me for a bit.)  My feed is full of what I call commercial beauty or society approved beauty.  And let me tell you, I love each and every one of my commercially beautiful friends with all my heart.  But it makes me feel so incredibly alone.

Being a fat Asian woman is already hard because of the stereotypes that Asian women should be small, demure, fair skinned, etc... Obviously, I am no Asian stereotype.  But increasingly, the more I look, the more I cannot find people like me.  Plus sized brands don't have Asian models.  Even when they are brands that share social media pictures from customers, I don't see plus sized Asian women.  It is hard to have no one to relate to.

Who is this for?

SacBoPoCo is NOT only for plus sized people.  I just wanted to share with you the feeling that sparked this movement.  And I NEVER want you to feel it for yourself.

At SacBoPoCo, I will be featuring all different people.  People of different sizes, shapes, color, ages, abilities, medical conditions, personal style, etc... And by feature, I mean, I want to share not only their pictures but also glean wisdom from them.  I want to talk about the postpartum body, the breastfeeding body, the dealing with chronic disease body, the life after cancer body, and so much more.

I want to talk to everyone who wants to talk to me.  I want to share stories that will inspire people to love their bodies even though they aren't what society thinks of as "perfect."  I want people to know that it's ok to love yourself in the process of getting to where you want to be.  And mostly, I want people to know that they are not alone.

How can you join?

Easy peasy!  You can follow along with SacBoPoCo on Instagram to see all the inspiration.  You can use #sacbopoco to join the community when you post about your own body positivity.  You can join the conversation in the SacBoPoCo Facebook group.  Again, while meet ups will be local, anyone can join the group for chatting and friendship.  All the online stuff is free.  I'm not sure about the meet ups yet since I'm not sure if I'll need to rent a space.



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I Feel Pretty: An Important Movie with a Crucial Message

Last night I attended a media preview of the film I Feel Pretty that will release April 20.  I joined a large group of women for a happy hour then we went to see the movie.  My friend Emily went with me and I thought it would just be a fun night with a chick flick.  After the movie, my friend and I had the most heart wrenching conversation about the issues of self confidence and body positivity.  This is a conversation that needs to be had so I'm going to add my little bit to it today.

In I Feel Pretty, the main character Rene is played by Amy Schumer.  (I'm going to try not to spoil anything.)  Rene struggles with self confidence in the beginning of the movie.  Then she has an accident at Soul Cycle, bumps her head, and wakes up seeing herself as beautiful.  While the film has its' flaws, my take away was the theme that nothing needs to change about you other than your perspective and attitude.

This is HUGE for me.  I didn't lose weight or all the sudden become beautiful one day.  I changed my perspective through what I call "Exposure Therapy."  I posted a photo of myself a day everyday for Dressember (which is such an important campaign.)  By the end of the month, I started to be ok with the way I looked in photos. This then translated to being ok with the way I look in real life.

Another important point is that I have a daughter and like it or not, I'm her role model.  In the movie, Rene says talks about how being a little girl, we have ALL this confidence and then over time with people's comments or perceptions, that fades away.  I find this thought TERRIFYING.  I have the most spectacular, smart, funny, and beautiful daughter in the world.  She has ALL of the confidence.  You CAN'T TELL HER NOTHING.  And I fear the day that some person makes a comment about her body or her outfit that crashes through her shield of confidence and hits her heart.

Because of this, I've cut the negative self talk out from myself (at least out loud.)  If I'm trying on outfits, I try to say "I don't feel like wearing this dress today" instead of "this makes me look fat."  I will say "My skin is bothering me this week" and not "I have horrible skin, I hate it."  This shift shows my daughter that these things are temporary and don't rule my life.  But they used to.  I used to stand in front of the mirror and detest my fat rolls, my acne marked skin, my unruly eyebrows, my widow's peak, my everything.

The thing is, I still have a lot things I used to hate about myself.  Probably more so now.  But I decided that my body and more importantly my soul couldn't thrive if all I did was sit there all day and tell myself how much I HATED my flaws.  I switched to trying to be kind to myself.  I switched to giving myself grace.  I switched to saying "my hair is rocking" and "this dress looks awesome on me."  And it literally changed my life.

What I loved about I Feel Pretty is that Rene did not "body swap" or lose weight or have a makeover, she shifted her perspective and her whole life changed.  And I just wanted to echo that message to you.  CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  When I finally decided that I was WORTH something, the world decided I was worth something too.  I'm not saying it was easy.  I'm just saying you can do it and you are SO incredibly worth fighting for yourself.

Huge thank you to STX Entertainment and Katie from the Wake Up Call for inviting me to this event!  Please go see this movie and have the conversation about how confidence can change your life.



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Super Affordable Full Figured Bras

It is no secret that I am a busty full figured gal.  I mean, it would really be a miracle if someone hadn't noticed.  LOL!  Being well endowed comes with a plethora of issues like back pain, trying to find the right length necklace, laying down on your front, and so much more.  (Like where do I cross my arms if I'm angry?  Over?  Under? On top?  I don't know.)  One of my biggest issues is finding a bra especially an affordable bra.  (Scroll down for giveaway info!)

When you're bigger, finding a bra is a chore.  For years, full figured bras lacked in cuteness.  They looked industrial.  They looked like something a grandma would wear.  Say goodbye to pretty flowers, rhinestones, unlined mesh, and basically anything pretty.  Which is so sad when you're a young woman who wants to feel confident in her undergarments!  This seems to be slowly changing in the plus industry.  

Beyond the appearance of the bra was the hefty price tag!  Full figured bras are usually at least $50 each for plain solid color bras with no frills or thrills.  If you want a cute print or lace or special back smoothing technology, it came at an additional cost.  I have friends who were skimping on bras and giving themselves back and breast pain because they didn't want to pay the huge price tag.  

Thankfully, us busty girls now have a solution!  DreamFit bras available at Walmart!  Now, I know what you're thinking and this is not your Walmart bra of yesteryear!  I've tried those ones and these are nothing like that!  The DreamFit bras are thoughtfully made offering a few different styles including one that can go strapless.  They also have cute designs like stripes, lace, and floral!  They also go to a triple D in store which is usually a challenge for me.  Best of all, they retail for $11.44!  I actually got mine on sale for $8!!!  My mind was blown!  

Display at Walmart

I picked the DreamFit Deep Plunge since I like more of a demi cup.  I find this cut best if you have a variety of necklines in your wardrobe.  I also liked that it had a touch of lace for added femininity.  Of course I had to select the floral print since for so long all I had was beige, black, and white.  The bra is comfortable!  The straps have a nice width to them.  It offers a nice amount of support.  This is a great everyday kind of bra!  

I find it so important that things like bras are becoming more accessible to plus sized women!  We deserve pretty bras with nice prints too!  And we also deserve to get a good deal.  Not everyone has $50 to drop per bra.  I appreciate having lower cost options especially since you're supposed to replace your bras every six months!  

GIVEAWAY INFO:

DreamFit is giving 4 gift cards to Walmart worth $250.  Plus 10 other winners will receive a DreamFit bra of their choice.  ENTER HERE!  Good luck!

I decided that it was important for you all to see the bra on so you can see the fit.  I don't usually do bra pictures so I tried to find comfortable ways for me to show you.  I also wanted to show you the bra on with a t-shirt over it since I'm gonna guess that is how most people will want to wear it.  But you know, you do you.  

Top: Forever 21+ | Skirt: Lularoe Madison | Necklace: Just Jewelry

Shirt: Torrid | Jacket: Charlotte Russe | Leggings: Walmart 

I hope you guys found this info as useful as I did!  I love knowing about options especially lower cost ones.  

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Dear Women, Get in FRONT of the Camera

Hi!  It's me, your chubby, tired, mommy friend with a few stray grey hairs and blemishes on her jaw.  I'm here to tell you to get in front of the camera.  And we've probably all seen the amazing article telling women to get INTO photos called So You're Feeling Too Fat to be Photographed.  Well, I'm here to tell you that you should take it a step BEYOND that.  I want to challenge women (particularly moms) to take professional photos BY THEMSELVES.  That's right, no hiding behind your kids, your partner, or your pets.  I want to SEE you!

Remember when you were a senior in high school and you did an entire photoshoot all by yourself?  Or when you would take Glamour Shots at the mall?  (Is this still a thing?)  Remember when you were young and not only allowed but paid people lots of money to take your picture?  What happened to that girl?

I became the opposite of that girl.  I offered to take the group shots at parties and get togethers so I wouldn't have to be in them.  I would hide or say I had to go to the bathroom during the photos.  If you somehow got me in a photo, I would try to stand in the back so you could only see my head.  And I can't tell you how many family photos are only of the kids.  I'm talking Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc... I was removing myself from memories because I didn't want to be seen.

Do you remember my Lularoe for the Plus Sized Gal post?  I can't remember a time between that post in Feb 2016 and my wedding in April 2005 where I allowed myself to be photographed full length by myself.  That's 11 years where I only had a head.  I remember even putting "Do a Photoshoot by Myself" on my 30 Before 30 list.  Yeah... I checked it off because I asked my sweet friend to take a couple headshots after I got my haircut one time.  But that wasn't being truthful to myself.

Here's my challenge, I'd like women to do what I'm calling a Celebrate You Shoot.  Not maternity, not boudoir, and definitely not a group.  Just you.  By yourself.  Pick out an outfit that makes you feel great.  Do your hair, your nails, your makeup, or don't.  But get in front of a real camera with a photographer and have your picture taken.  And here's the REAL challenge, when you get your pictures back look at how pretty you are.  Look at your joyful smile or your sparkling eyes or your athletic shoulders and see beauty.  You are not allowed to sit and nit pick at every little imperfection that no one else sees.

Bonus, print out a picture and let your significant other take it to work.  Print one out for your parents.  Frame one and put it in your own house.  Let yourself be SEEN by the people in your life and by yourself.

I have to warn you that I went full on Senior Portrait on this photoshoot with Sparkle and Smile Photography.  I also wanted to try different poses and see how it worked for me.  I'm really happy with the photos!  I'll admit that there are some where I wish my tummy was flatter or my arms were smaller but I just keep scrolling because it is what it is. I loved working with Nichol!  She really helped me to execute this vision.

Dress: Lularoe Amelia | Jacket: Isabel Toledo for Lane Bryant | Boots: Lane Bryant

If you do a shoot like this, please leave me a comment with a link.  Or use #celebrateyoushoot on social media and tag me so I can see!

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